


Two guys

by Clarounette



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 03:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clarounette/pseuds/Clarounette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, you can't love each other freely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two guys

They were just two men.  
If they had been two regular guys, they wouldn't have any trouble. But as it was, they couldn't love each other freely. They were famous.

Of course, one of them was married, but infidelity wasn't something so unusual, even amongst celebrities. So even though the simple idea of acting on 'it' was making James feel extremely guilty, it wasn't something one could deny forever. One day, his frustration was bound to create some tension between Anne-Marie and him. Their marriage would explode. And their son would suffer, like he had suffered himself all those years ago. He loved the little one, but maybe seeing his parents fight and shout everyday wouldn't be a better option for him. So acting on his feelings or not wouldn't change a thing: soon he would have to talk to her. He still loved her enough to be honest. He knew she would be the one to decide to split. She was down to earth, sweet girl. But he didn't want his son to experience the same pain he had, and would refuse a divorce. With time, his feelings would fade away.

Michael was pretending. His entire life was a lie. Even before he became famous, he had to hide his 'condition'. He could have been a very proud gay activist, but since he decided to be an actor, he had to take care of his reputation. Other actors's coming-out should have inspired him, but he was too much a coward to do the same. So he flirted regularly with models and young actresses, while he distracted himself with hustlers. Sometimes he had a crush on one of his male partners, but he never acted on it. Then came James...  
He realized pretty fast that wasn't like with the others. There was so much chemistry between them ; they would banter and laugh all day long during the filming. They had tastes in common. It was like having a crush on his best friend. And crush finally became pure love.

At first, for both of them, it was simply friendship. Very strong, almost intimate, but still friendship.  
Michael realized it was more than that after the golf cart's incident. He had been quite surprised when he had found himself in the front seat, of course. But he had been clearly afraid when he saw James sprawled in the grass several feet away. Until his friend sat, laughing his ass off. No serious injury then, it was a relief. In the evening, this moment came back to him, and the idea of an injured James made him anguish. Troubled, he tried to look back at their relationship at a slightly different angle. It was as if a neon sign lit up in his head, reading LOVE in big fucking pink letters. He took his head in his hands and swore a little : he was doomed.  
After that, each day was torture. To look at his beloved and to not be able to touch him the way he wanted to made him quite frustrated. He would still play the part of the good friend, and kid around with James like everything was okay. It was not. In his bed, he would think about those wonderfully blue eyes, those kissable red lips, how his hand would rest on his shoulder after a good joke. James was so close and at the same time so far away...

Finally, after so many weeks of hard work, the film was done. No long days besides his unrequited love anymore. It was time for him to move on.  
For over six months, he went back to his debauched lifestyle. Sometimes he would think about James, but before the feeling overwhelmed him, he would go to a bar, drink a lot and pick up some youngster to sleep with. They often had short brown hair and blue eyes, but he didn't want to think about it.  
Then the movie was released. He received his schedule. All those interviews with James... He wasn't sure he would be able to make it through. But after the first one, it seemed so easy. James was as loveable as ever, and he was happy to have his friend back, even if that meant suffering of lovesickness.  
A few interviews later, Michael realized something seemed off. James was joking about a possible romantic relationship between the two of them. And sometimes he could swear he caught those blue eyes lingering on him, as if James was trying to decipher something about his countenance. It was making things more difficult for Michael, because now there was hope.

Actually, there was more than hope.  
When James went back to his life with Anne-Marie after the filming, at first he was happy. But a couple of weeks later, he began to miss something. He didn't know what exactly, but it felt like the sky was darker, or the wind chillier. He was supposed to enjoy every day at its fullest, but he couldn't.  
And one day, he heard Anne-Marie say Michael's name – she wanted to know how it was like during the filming, since he didn't really tell her anything about his partners. Hearing the name of his friend after so long made his heart skip a beat. He quickly regained composure, but later that night, he thought about his reaction. He couldn't explain it, but there clearly was something weird.  
He tried everyday to forget it, to no avail.  
And when the movie was released and he had to go through all those interviews with Michael, he finally understood. Like the dork he really was, he began to joke about it: anything to not let his friend know about his feelings. And soon Michael was playing along with him, making things more difficult for him.

Tonight was the New York premiere for their movie. A party had been planned after the presentation. The whole crew was reunited, acting like no time had passed.  
In a corner, Michael was observing the crowd, noticing how James was getting along with everyone. He smiled at the thought, and sipped at his glass of champagne. The minute after, he wasn't alone anymore, as James took place besides him.  
"So?"  
"So..."  
"Nice party, right?"  
"As you must have noticed, I'm not really into it. But it seems you have fun." Michael was looking at the floor, not willing to drown into those haunting blue eyes.  
"Something on your mind?" James asked, worried.  
"Maybe. It's not like you can do anything about it, so don't worry."  
The way Michael dismissed him bothered James. Where was the beautiful friendship they shared? Finding no other way to force Michael to talk to him, he decided to share a bit of his thoughts himself.  
"I may have something on my mind too."  
Michael was troubled with this revelation. He understood that he hadn't been such a good friend, never contacting James after the filming. He was ready to listen to anything he had to say, and let James know looking right into his eyes.

James was nervous for a second, watching the party's lights reflect on those grey-green irises. Then he looked at the floor and took a deep long breath.  
"My life with Anne-Marie has changed somehow, and I'm not as happy as I was." He drank his champagne and put the glass on the nearest table. "Since the filming..."  
"Is it about love?" Michael interrupted, so nervous his voice wavered and the last word was more like a whisper. There was no other explanation. Everything seemed to click into place. After so many months of suffering, Michael was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. His love wasn't as unrequited as he thought it was.  
"Maybe. But it's not like you can do anything about it, so don't worry." James turned his head toward Michael and smiled. The smile was so heart-wrenching that Michael let out a desperate groan.  
"What if I CAN do something? What if... there was no problem at all?"  
James's smile wavered. He had took things this far because he was sure nothing could happen. It would be humiliating for him, and quite painful, but at least there would be no other damage done. Knowing that there might be a possibility for all of this to become real...  
Guilt overwhelmed him. He could not possibly hurt his wife because of this. He fancied Michael, big deal! He married Anne-Marie, he had a child with her. Moreover, he had his career to think about.

Michael was waiting for an answer, a reaction. Did he understand everything wrongly? Or maybe his point didn't come across. Anyway, James wasn't saying anything, and it made him nervous.  
"James, do you understand what I'm trying to say? Very badly, I must add."  
Those wonderful eyes were on him, staring at his face. A lot of different emotions passed through them: surprise, happiness, incertainty, guilt... And finally acceptance. Michael didn't like it. At all.  
"I understand" James said. "It's not that I ain't glad. I was so sure my feelings were unrequited, how could I not be glad?" He then paced the floor in front of his friend. "But I can't... WE can't. There are so many things going on in our lifes. Nobody would accept our relationship. And I have a family to think of."  
He took Michael's hand in his own and walked to the balcony. The night was cold, and no one dared to come to this place. They were all alone. James turned to Michael, squeezing his hand.  
"There's only one thing that I don't want to regret." Raised on his tiptoes, he gently kissed Michael's lips. It was a fleeting moment. The next, James was gone.

Michael stood on the balcony. He still had the lingering sensation of James's lips on his owns, his fingertips trying to retain the feeling. He realized he was crying when a tear dropped on the back of his hand.

They were just two men.  
If they had been two regular guys, they wouldn't have had any trouble. But as it was, they couldn't love each other freely. They were famous. And so they never talked about it, ever again.


End file.
